The Relationship Bank Account

Marriage Example: Deposits And Deficits

Work And Customer Accounts

Salary Negotiation And Runway

Theory Of Scattering Mice

Neediness And Negotiation Power

Ticket Story: Price Of Need

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome to the Toilet Paper Salesman Podcast. My name is Mike Murarki. And today we're going to continue our series in relationships. If you listen to our last episode, we talked about how to build and create good relationships. And today, what we're going to talk about is how to maintain those relationships. And the analogy that I use on how to maintain great relationships is in the business bank account. In every relationship that we have, we have a bank account. We are positive or we're negative in our deposits. How does that work? Well, that works in every single relationship that we have, number one. When people will say things like, I don't keep score, it doesn't matter, it always matters. Everybody keeps score all the time. Subconsciously, we keep score in every relationship we have. And it's important to know that because if you understand and recognize that every relationship that you have, there's a bank account, then you'll be able to do a better job keeping your relationship strong instead of getting into a deficit. So how does that work? If you think about, for example, when I was first married and I had young kids, my friend and I used to go to a NASCAR race every year. And so we'd leave on Friday, we'd go to the NASCAR race, I'd come home Sunday. Well, of course, my wife had two young kids, she had no issues with me going. When I left on Friday, hugs and kisses, we'd go to the NASCAR race, we'd have a great time, we come back Sunday, she wasn't the same person. Why was that? Well, because after we left, the kids got sick, she had to deal with them all weekend, I wasn't around to help. And so now our bank account was off. So what did I have to do? I had to come in, give her kisses and hugs, maybe buy her flowers, sweep the carpet, do whatever I have to do to get that bank account back up. In a relationship, if you don't realize that you have this bank account, you might come home on Sunday, throw your bag into the living room and say, Hey, I'm going out drinking with the guys. If I would have done that, then my bank account would have gone down even further, and it would have caused really a major problem. Not understanding the bank account, you would be wondering why? What's the big deal? Well, the big deal is because your bank account was already down, your wife spent the weekend with the kids, you were out having fun at the NASCAR race, and then you came back home and you didn't make up the bank account. How does this work at work? In any number of different ways. In every relationship we have at work, we also have bank accounts. And so when something happens that's negative, you have to build something up in order to keep that relationship strong. These are the scenarios that happen every day to us. With our customers, it's really important because let's just say something gets messed up with your customer. Something gets messed up with your customer, now your bank account's down, you have to build it back up. If you don't build it back up, you're in a deficit. And if that deficit continues to grow and you don't do anything to rectify those situations, you're going to open the door for the competition. What's the number one reason why customers move their business? The number one reason why the customer moves their business is because they don't think you care about their business. It goes directly to the bank account. The bank account is the key in every relationship to help keep it strong, to help keep it flowing. Say you're going to start a new job and you want to negotiate a salary. Negotiate a salary is it's important for you to get paid what the position pays, for you to get paid the correct amount. Sometimes people will go overboard and negotiate really hard on the front end. And if you do that, you can get away with it. But what happens is now your bank account is way down. When you start a new job, your bank account's down no matter what. You've got to build it back up because they've hired you, they've entrusted you, they've paid you money, you're not producing anything in the beginning. There's a lot of work that you have to do to build that bank account back up. If you really negotiate extra hard, now you're really putting yourself in a deficit. And what you're doing is you're reducing your runway in order to succeed. So you have to be aware of that. Sometimes it's better off getting a little bit less upfront and then proving yourself, and then you'll get it back in the long run once the company understands how much value you bring to them. These are the things to remember regarding bank account. If you're aware of bank account, you're gonna have better relationships, you're gonna have more even relationships, and you're gonna do a better job keeping customers on board, keeping customers happy, keeping your employer happy, keeping relationships strong. And with friendships, it's the same thing. In every relationship that we have, we have this bank account going on. And the first thing is the awareness, a problem identified as a problem half solved, and awareness of these bank accounts will help you to keep your relationships strong. I have a theory, it's the theory of scattering mice. What is the theory of scattering mice? When I was in high school, I'd have a girlfriend, and when I had a girlfriend, it seemed like I could get every girl in the world. They were all there, they were all available, they were all willing to go out. It was like a smorgasbord. You could have as anybody you want until the day that we broke up. When we broke up, then it seemed like the girls scattered like mice. It's the same thing. And why is that? Why does it seem like when you have a girlfriend, you could have all the girlfriends you want, or when you have a boyfriend, you could have all the boyfriends you want. And then when you break up, now all of a sudden they're gone. It goes down to neediness. Neediness is the key. When you're needy, you're not as attractive as when you're not needy. If you don't have a job right now and you're looking for a job, it's going to be much more difficult to find one than if you already have a job because of the theory of scattering mice, because people are attracted to people who don't need them. If you're negotiating a deal like for a car or for anything else, the biggest thing you could do is not be needy. You could want something, but not need something because once you need it, you're going to be in a weaker negotiating position to get what you want. If you're willing to walk out of the deal and say, no, I don't care, I don't really need that. I want it, I don't need it, and unless I get the deal I want, I'm gone. You're going to be in a much stronger position. The one time I was at a hockey game and I had extra tickets. And I was trying to sell these tickets. I had three tickets and I wanted to sell all three, and I had somebody came by and they wanted two tickets, and I didn't want to only sell two tickets, and so I was, I don't really know, I don't really know. And then all of a sudden, when the game came closer, they came back one more time and they said, Hey, we want to buy those two tickets. And I said, No, I want to sell all three. They walked away and they say, Fine, we'll get them somewhere else. As soon as they did that, it flipped the switch, and now all of a sudden I became needy and I became worried that I wasn't going to be able to sell any of the tickets. And so I went back to them and said, Hey, I'll sell you the two tickets. And I sold them to them at their price, not at my price. When they came to me, I could have sold them at my price. Because I became needy, I was then vulnerable to losing a lot more money in that case, and I did. Just remember the theory of scattering mice to be needy and the personal bank account. If you remember those two principles, the bank account keeps relations strong, the theory of scattering mice keeps you negotiating strong, you will be much more successful for it. That's all I have for today. Who says selling toilet paper isn't glamorous? Thanks a lot and have a great day.